"A gross bastard who hopefully fell into his own arse and suffocated."

He held out the stake to Sirius and waited for him to hold. "Now focus, you dreamy eyed cunt. What we do is we take this sharp wooden stick and we put it here." He held it over his heart and slowly blew smoke out of his other as he slowly rotated the stick so Sirius could see it. "Not centre, not fucking wherever you fancy. You go for the fucking bugger heart. So get your shit together and make sure you know where you're stabbing or you're fucked."

He set one aside for himself, pocketed his lighter and then looked up at Sirius from where he was sitting. "When do you fancy going? My soap is on but I can't get a signal to save my arse so I guess I'm fucking free."