"Sorry. I shouldn't have..." Shouldn't have said anything and he was sorry. He also trailed off, biting down on his bottom lip, working through it himself. Purely selfish that he had told Felix any of this. Because he wanted to share with Felix. Because he wanted Felix to be part of his life. Because he missed him and hated that there was any part of him that Felix didn't know.

Yeah, selfish. Felix had a diagnosis, was in therapy. Didn't want to see him and much less hear about his life. Holden felt awful, but of course that was selfish in its own way. Couldn't make this about his guilt over handling it badly either. "It'll pass, Felix. Just. Always good to remember."