"All right there, Giddy?" Gunn crouched down by Gideon, trying a friendly smile. Damn, he hated this. All he wanted was to give this boy the happy and steady life he deserved and the system kept screwing him over. "Nice seeing you again."
It was at that, although the state he was in, again? Still? He hated it.
But maybe, maybe today was finally the day these troubled would end for little Gideon. "Are you ready to come with me?"
Every time he got into the car, he went somewhere new. Somewhere bad. He missed his mom, at least he understood her. All these new people, they were confusing, difficult and didn't even like him anyway. He was glad he broke the Smith families stupid window, they were stupid. And dumb too.
He lingered on the street, sticking close to the lamp-post, looking at Gunn with such mistrust. "I want to go back to mom."
"I get that, Gid. I really do. It's been tough, hasn't it?" A bit of an understatement there. Damn, couldn't they have at least washed his clothes? Taken him to the dentist? Any of that? No, of course not.
"Look, so far they made me put you with families in the city, because they felt that was the right way to go. But... You like Postman Pat, right? Don't you think it'd be nice to live on the countryside? And with someone I like this time. Someone who'll properly take care of you."
At least he was as sure of it as he possibly could be.
"I don't think I can live with Postman Pat. He's too busy." He would like to, he imagined it would be really nice. He missed lying on the couch/bed in the mornings, watching Postman Pat while his mom slept. He missed stale cereal and the familiar comforts of him. The new places were scary, uncomfortable and no one was any nicer than his mom. So why not just go back to his mom.
"You always say I'll like them but I never, ever do."
And he didn't wanna do it all again. He was so very tired. He ruffled his dirty hair and squinted up at Gunn, wondering why they kept doing this. "I wanna go home."
"Yeah, but this time I said that I like him. All right? So he's a really cool guy." Maybe cool wasn't the best descriptor here, but Gunn was trying. Trying to make this boy a bit less terrified of, well, the world.
So he ended up sitting down on the ground next to Gideon, pulling out his phone. He opened up the right email and started showing the picture attachments. "That's him. He's called Holden O'Shea. That's a fun name, isn't it? Sounds like a character in a story."
Maybe that was just what it sounded like to him. "He lives in this house, look. That's what it looks like from the outside.
"It's nice." Too nice for him. It would be a bad idea, he didn't think it would last at all but he supposed he might be allowed to play football in the garden and meet a postman before he went home. He did like Postman Pat, it was the best - secondly only to Fireman Sam. And he lived in a small village too.
"He looks like a business man." He had no real frame of reference but he was an older man and clean so he looked fancy. He wasn't wearing a footie shirt or anything.
"He's a therapist. Psychologist." Those were likely a whole bunch of words that Gideon had never heard in his life and, even if, that he definitely couldn't possibly understand. So he tried to explain. "His job is to talk to people and help them feel better. So they aren't as sad or angry any more. It's a pretty fancy job."
That part was true, he supposed. "He also really likes movies and games and cartoons and all that. So he's not all serious. And he really wants a kid, wants a nice boy like you to have a fun life with, but because he's by himself, they tend to give the kids to families instead. I think he'd be perfect for you though."
"Are you awake, Gideon? You remember where the bathroom is, right?" Holden had heard some movement from the boy's bedroom, so he asked from the hallway, not wanting to intrude too much. It was still early, only around six am, but Holden was awake as well and he had anticipated that Gideon would rise early, given how he had fallen asleep pretty early as well.
Just as well, meant that they could get the day started and make sure that Gideon could keep taking breaks as needed. He knew that Gideon was going to be overwhelmed, so it was important to make sure he had the rest time he needed to work through things a little. He wanted him to feel some degree of control over his life, which he had clearly never had before.
"Looks like a beautiful day today, no rain so far."
Gideon had woken up a while ago and had been rummaging around in his room when he heard Holden's voice. At first, he froze, worried he had been caught doing something he shouldn't but the tone wasn't yelling or mean, it was nice. Friendly. He looked around once more and then walked up to the door, pushing it open so he could look at Holden. "It's sunny today."
He smiled shyly and eyed up the bathroom curiously before he looked at Holden again, wondering what they had planned for today. Chores? TV? Garden time? He had no idea and it made him anxious.
"Yeah, we could start with a bit of TV." Holden held his hand out to Gideon, deciding that he had to go slowly hear. Make sure there was some kind of familiarity and also that Gideon felt as if he could influence what was happening a little. "Did you sleep well? You were out like a stone yesterday."
An adorable stone, but still. Didn't even stir when he took him upstairs. "How about we sit and watch another episode of Turtles and then we make a bit of a plan for today?"
"It's Postman Pat time. On BBC, every morning. I watch it when I'm allowed." And he wanted to watch that more than turtles or any other super cool VHS. He had a single focus when it came to TV and if Holden had a Postman Pat VHS, he would be watching it all day if he could. "It's nice because he gets to drive a red van and then he gives mail to all of the nice neighbours in the village."
He would love to be a postman. He always thought it seemed like a good idea. "I watch it with cereal." Hint, hint. "My mom always had cereal and I can pour the milk all by myself." He wasn't allowed cereal in his last home, it caused quite a few fights in the morning.
"Yeah? Then we should see about getting some cereal with our Postman Pat time." Holden took Gideon's hand, noting the Postman Pat interest again. He would definitely have to make use of that for more encouragement. For now he walked into the kitchen with the boy, which he hadn't properly been in so far. He picked Gideon up and sat him down on the counter, than he showed his choices of cereal.
"I have this chocolate one, I have the boring healthy one and I have porridge. Do you want the chocolate one? You can pour the milk." Of course.
"Chocolate, yes." Chocolate was the best. He took the box so he could look at the mascot and looked at the back to see if there was any games there. Alas, none, but they did have funny monkeys on it so he was happy enough. He let Holden bring him the milk and hold it tight with two hands, pouring slowly and doing a pretty good job. He handed it back safely and picked up his spoon, putting it in.
"Ready!" He smiled at Holden, happy to have cereal, happy that he could ask for something and actually get it. "Are you gonna watch with me?"
The sticker and toy was not enough to appease Gideon - who was hurt, woozy and angry. He went to the dentist and Holden told him it would be over quickly and it wasn't scary. It was scary. The dentist had to give him so many scary things and he hadn't been allowed to fight. And when he did fight, Holden held him down with them until he got the scary needle. He hated it. He hated the dentist, he was mad at Holden and he was unhappy with his teeth. Why did Gunn want to send him here? Why did everyone betray him?
He walked to the car with a grumpy little frown, not talking to Holden as he held his stupid mini Mighty Max set and tooth brush.
As he hopped into the car, he threw his toy on the floor and crossed his arms, glaring out of the window.
For the immediate now, Holden said nothing. Seemed better to let his boy wallow in silence. He did make sure Gideon had his seatbelt on properly and then he started them down the road, feeling bad over how Gideon was feeling. Still, he knew it would be so much better in the long run. Maybe once he had ice cream without pain for the first time, Gideon would understand that a little.
Or otherwise, maybe he could just bribe him into happiness and slowly win back his trust. "You were really brave today, my boy." A bit of a whiny nightmare too, but he couldn't and wouldn't blame him for that.
Gideon didn't want to be anyone's boy today so he pulled a face and hugged himself as he looked out of the window. He felt along his teeth and all of them felt different now. They didn't hurt any less either! And the injection hurt so much. So, so much. He was not happy and continued to sulk in silence as they drove towards their home. There was no dentist in this village, it was the village over. He had decided that he hated this village, it was the bad one. They should never get post.
As they pulled up by the house, Gideon refused to move from his seat. He wasn't going in the house, not with the traitor who hurt his teeth. He was going to run away forever and go to Gunn again. Or maybe not, Gunn told him dentists were good too! Liars.
"That hurt a lot, didn't it?" Holden sighed and turned around in his seat so he could look at Gideon properly. "It hurts even more without a dentist. And more in the long run. You'd need false teeth like Mrs Shore has." He gestured in the direction of the woman's house, remembering the time Gideon had gotten scared because she hadn't had her teeth in.
"You know, when I was little there wasn't a dentist anywhere around. So when I had toothache one time-- I must have been a bit older than you, I reckon. Anyway, it was really bad, my face was swollen on one side." Holden blew up one cheek to demonstrate. "I couldn't even talk. And my da, he didn't want to drive me all the way to a dentist. So my big brother Jonathan gave me whiskey to drink and then he tied a string around my tooth and ripped it out."
What a defining memory. "I cried so hard. Still missing a tooth there, look." Holden opened his mouth to show off the gap. "There was SO much blood!"
Ew. That sounded so gross. He looked at Holden's missing tooth and then raised his hand to touch his face. It hurt now, it was all puffy and swollen because of all the stuff the doctor had to do with his molars. "I was fine and then they hurt me. You let them hurt me. You hurt me."
He didn't want to have his teeth sorted and he didn't hurt that much with them. He mostly ignored toothache, the chronic earaches, the jaw pain - to him, that was normal. He had never known any different.
"I know, my darling boy. I didn't want you to get hurt and I know it's difficult, but it was also really difficult to see how much pain you were in all the time. Remember when we had hot dogs the other day and you could only eat them on one side?" It pained him to see that. Pained him to see so many instances of the pain Gideon was in. "Do you remember when Barbara got that wire around her foot and how it cut her and it was swollen? She didn't want to let us close to cut it, did she?"
What an operation that had been. "And she was so mad with us after we had to hold her down to cut it. But then we put the cream on and it healed up in a few days."
Felix didn't know what therapist he was going to, Michael got the message about it, not him. All he got from Michael was a phone call with an address, which he had scribbled down on a napkin. It was near Michael's place so he just drove there and then asked some old ladies where to best friend the place. They pointed him in the direction and he drove there, looking at house numbers and trying to work it out.
He parked nearby and sat in his car for a few moments, just working up the nerve, hitting his steering wheel and then resting his head on the steering wheel until it beeped and scared him.
After an embarrassing encounter where an older woman came to ask if he was okay, he swiftly got out of the car and walked into the garden. He hit the buzzer for the patient entrance and just as he did, the older lady called out to him.
"Say hello to Holden for me!"
"... Holden?" No, it couldn't be Holden. He wasn't the therapist. What was the odds? He turned his head, looked at the sign on the side and nearly died.
"Hell-- Oh." Holden had opened the door with a friendly smile as always and now he was standing there, holding the door and staring at the erstwhile love of his life. The forever love of his life, really, something he mostly tried not to engage with too much. He swallowed, the smile not yet faltering entirely. This was awkward.
"Well." Surprise for them both, going by Felix's expression. "Unexpected, eh?"
His heart was beating so damn fast. "Look, just come in. We'll work it out from there, but the neighbours are nosy in these parts and at least I can get you something to drink inside."
Felix just wanted to hide in the bush and die a little but he didn't want to cause Holden any issues and he supposed he could stay, politely reject the drink and run to Michael's so he could slowly murder him. He was fast becoming his least favourite brother. He fucking loved Stephen, at least he moved to America. Really good for their relationship.
"I guess, okay, just quickly though."
Felix walked into the very tiny little cottage and slipped off his shoes, standing there with an awkward expression. As soon as Holden turned his back, he started cursing silently and pulling at his hair. Why, why, why?! No, this was awful. Fuck!
"... How are you doing?" There. Normal. He could do this.
"Pretty all right. Lots of work I'm catching up on though, so I haven't been reading through files as thoroughly as I should." Evidently.
Holden knew Felix didn't care for tea and certainly not for water, so he ended up making him an overly sweet Ribena and carried it over to the table. He sat down in his usual chair and indicated the other chair. "Sit down, yeah? I don't bite."
He shrugged. "I'm sorry, I can't be your therapist obviously. But we can talk, nothing against that." Raw emotional pain, maybe, but he was moving on from that. Who needed romantic love anyway? "Both our brothers live in this place, did you know that?"
"If I knew, I would have asked for a name clarity. My brother Michael booked it, he just sends me off to people sometimes. He's bad at communication, as you know. Go there, do this, don't forget to bring this and this. Sometimes at random." And Michael had not told him the name of the therapist, just that his was unable to work today so he had to go to a backup and sent an address. Bloody bastard.
"I mean, this is about right, I'm not even shocked. I'm surprised it's you and not like, I don't know, my fucking year seven teacher." And that bitch really hated him. God knows why. "We don't have to talk, I can chill for a few and then I have a brother to yell at so... busy day."
He smiled awkwardly at Holden and then eyed up his Ribena. He felt way too on edge to drink it. "Sorry about this."
"Sorry, no. We don't have to talk." Given that Felix clearly didn't want to. Not that he blamed him for that. "It's good. That you're doing therapy. That's really good." Was that already saying too much? Could that be interpreted in a million ways that he didn't even mean because, really, all he wanted was the best for Felix?
Holden laughed at the stupidity of this situation, shaking his head. "It's good to see you. Even like this."
Of course it was good. If nothing else, Felix was still the devilishly handsome rake that made his heart flutter. Never got over that.
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gay90s2023-08-16 08:00 pm
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It was at that, although the state he was in, again? Still? He hated it.
But maybe, maybe today was finally the day these troubled would end for little Gideon. "Are you ready to come with me?"
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Every time he got into the car, he went somewhere new. Somewhere bad. He missed his mom, at least he understood her. All these new people, they were confusing, difficult and didn't even like him anyway. He was glad he broke the Smith families stupid window, they were stupid. And dumb too.
He lingered on the street, sticking close to the lamp-post, looking at Gunn with such mistrust. "I want to go back to mom."
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"Look, so far they made me put you with families in the city, because they felt that was the right way to go. But... You like Postman Pat, right? Don't you think it'd be nice to live on the countryside? And with someone I like this time. Someone who'll properly take care of you."
At least he was as sure of it as he possibly could be.
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"You always say I'll like them but I never, ever do."
And he didn't wanna do it all again. He was so very tired. He ruffled his dirty hair and squinted up at Gunn, wondering why they kept doing this. "I wanna go home."
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So he ended up sitting down on the ground next to Gideon, pulling out his phone. He opened up the right email and started showing the picture attachments. "That's him. He's called Holden O'Shea. That's a fun name, isn't it? Sounds like a character in a story."
Maybe that was just what it sounded like to him. "He lives in this house, look. That's what it looks like from the outside.
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"He looks like a business man." He had no real frame of reference but he was an older man and clean so he looked fancy. He wasn't wearing a footie shirt or anything.
"What does he do?"
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That part was true, he supposed. "He also really likes movies and games and cartoons and all that. So he's not all serious. And he really wants a kid, wants a nice boy like you to have a fun life with, but because he's by himself, they tend to give the kids to families instead. I think he'd be perfect for you though."
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Just as well, meant that they could get the day started and make sure that Gideon could keep taking breaks as needed. He knew that Gideon was going to be overwhelmed, so it was important to make sure he had the rest time he needed to work through things a little. He wanted him to feel some degree of control over his life, which he had clearly never had before.
"Looks like a beautiful day today, no rain so far."
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He smiled shyly and eyed up the bathroom curiously before he looked at Holden again, wondering what they had planned for today. Chores? TV? Garden time? He had no idea and it made him anxious.
"Can we watch TV?"
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An adorable stone, but still. Didn't even stir when he took him upstairs. "How about we sit and watch another episode of Turtles and then we make a bit of a plan for today?"
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He would love to be a postman. He always thought it seemed like a good idea. "I watch it with cereal." Hint, hint. "My mom always had cereal and I can pour the milk all by myself." He wasn't allowed cereal in his last home, it caused quite a few fights in the morning.
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"I have this chocolate one, I have the boring healthy one and I have porridge. Do you want the chocolate one? You can pour the milk." Of course.
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"Ready!" He smiled at Holden, happy to have cereal, happy that he could ask for something and actually get it. "Are you gonna watch with me?"
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He walked to the car with a grumpy little frown, not talking to Holden as he held his stupid mini Mighty Max set and tooth brush.
As he hopped into the car, he threw his toy on the floor and crossed his arms, glaring out of the window.
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Or otherwise, maybe he could just bribe him into happiness and slowly win back his trust. "You were really brave today, my boy." A bit of a whiny nightmare too, but he couldn't and wouldn't blame him for that.
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As they pulled up by the house, Gideon refused to move from his seat. He wasn't going in the house, not with the traitor who hurt his teeth. He was going to run away forever and go to Gunn again. Or maybe not, Gunn told him dentists were good too! Liars.
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"You know, when I was little there wasn't a dentist anywhere around. So when I had toothache one time-- I must have been a bit older than you, I reckon. Anyway, it was really bad, my face was swollen on one side." Holden blew up one cheek to demonstrate. "I couldn't even talk. And my da, he didn't want to drive me all the way to a dentist. So my big brother Jonathan gave me whiskey to drink and then he tied a string around my tooth and ripped it out."
What a defining memory. "I cried so hard. Still missing a tooth there, look." Holden opened his mouth to show off the gap. "There was SO much blood!"
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He didn't want to have his teeth sorted and he didn't hurt that much with them. He mostly ignored toothache, the chronic earaches, the jaw pain - to him, that was normal. He had never known any different.
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What an operation that had been. "And she was so mad with us after we had to hold her down to cut it. But then we put the cream on and it healed up in a few days."
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He parked nearby and sat in his car for a few moments, just working up the nerve, hitting his steering wheel and then resting his head on the steering wheel until it beeped and scared him.
After an embarrassing encounter where an older woman came to ask if he was okay, he swiftly got out of the car and walked into the garden. He hit the buzzer for the patient entrance and just as he did, the older lady called out to him.
"Say hello to Holden for me!"
"... Holden?" No, it couldn't be Holden. He wasn't the therapist. What was the odds? He turned his head, looked at the sign on the side and nearly died.
Holden O'Shea - psychotherapy.
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"Well." Surprise for them both, going by Felix's expression. "Unexpected, eh?"
His heart was beating so damn fast. "Look, just come in. We'll work it out from there, but the neighbours are nosy in these parts and at least I can get you something to drink inside."
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"I guess, okay, just quickly though."
Felix walked into the very tiny little cottage and slipped off his shoes, standing there with an awkward expression. As soon as Holden turned his back, he started cursing silently and pulling at his hair. Why, why, why?! No, this was awful. Fuck!
"... How are you doing?" There. Normal. He could do this.
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Holden knew Felix didn't care for tea and certainly not for water, so he ended up making him an overly sweet Ribena and carried it over to the table. He sat down in his usual chair and indicated the other chair. "Sit down, yeah? I don't bite."
He shrugged. "I'm sorry, I can't be your therapist obviously. But we can talk, nothing against that." Raw emotional pain, maybe, but he was moving on from that. Who needed romantic love anyway? "Both our brothers live in this place, did you know that?"
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"I mean, this is about right, I'm not even shocked. I'm surprised it's you and not like, I don't know, my fucking year seven teacher." And that bitch really hated him. God knows why. "We don't have to talk, I can chill for a few and then I have a brother to yell at so... busy day."
He smiled awkwardly at Holden and then eyed up his Ribena. He felt way too on edge to drink it. "Sorry about this."
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Holden laughed at the stupidity of this situation, shaking his head. "It's good to see you. Even like this."
Of course it was good. If nothing else, Felix was still the devilishly handsome rake that made his heart flutter. Never got over that.
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