"I will always notice, Felix. Just. For the record." Holden crossed his arms loosely and swallowed, leaning against the wall with one shoulder as he watched Felix, trying to resist everything inside him that wanted to reach out to him and hold him back. Wanted to be there for him. Wanted to have Felix again, whatever that entailed.

He wished he could stop Felix from running off. Wished he didn't have to fear another time that Felix would set up to destroy himself. He had been selfish to ever date Felix, really, because it had doomed the chance of being there for Felix in the long run. "I know you've changed now. I can see that. You can talk to me, you know? You paid for it. Technically."