Felix was quiet for a moment, one shoe on and one shoe off, feeling that it was a pretty good state to be in, given everything. He sighed and then looked at his former love, feeling such pain inside and hating it. "I don't know if I'll ever see you again, you know. I just wanted to tell you that ... you were the one and I'm sorry I sucked. I couldn't handle it. I knew I'd ruin it so I tried to ruin it faster and harder so it would be done. I spent my life just chasing the end because I knew it was always coming. And now I found the end and I'm just -- I'm just sorry. I shouldn't have done it to you the way I did."

And he did feel bad. He knew it wasn't his place to feel like that or say all of this right now but he was hoping to never burden Holden again. "I'm sorry we didn't work out. I always had an idea in my head and just -- you have a kid, it's so perfect. And you need to find someone who's good with kids and maybe have more." And he was so happy for him. "I'm just sorry. For myself. I wish I could be that guy and it sucks."