gay90s | where the heart is

"Yeah, those are neat. I got chocolate cigarettes some time as a kid, that was a cool day." Gotta admit, cool was cool. And tasty, even though he remembered the chocolate not being the best. Pretending to smoke made it all much more interesting. "You should have a nice bath today, when you're with Holden."

That boy really, really needed a thorough cleaning. "And I'm getting him to set up those check-ups you need. Dentist, doctor, all of that." He was worried. "Don't want you to have that much pain with your teeth any more.

"I don't like baths." He didn't like the idea of having a bath, he had never really had one and showers were awful. His last family tried the first night and gave up, hence the state he was in. Sure, he was difficult to deal with but nothing was worth trying twice for with him. He wasn't an instant angel, he wasn't worth keeping.

"I get big new teeth soon." Or, at least, he heard people did when they were big enough. He had a year before he started school so he hoped he had new teeth by then. Then they would hurt less and he wouldn't have to brush them. Or so he assumed.

"Yeah, you do. And you'll be properly taken care of by then so they won't hurt at all." He could find a good life for Gideon, no matter how difficult it might be. Gunn turned on some music for them to listen to and focused on following the instructions Holden had given him.

Finally, after a while longer, there they were. "That's the place, Gid. We just passed the sign. Do you like it? Looks like Postman Pat's village."

Pretty damn close, anyway.

"Postman Pat is a really happy man. He has a cat and they live in a village. There's lot of apple trees there. I don't see apple trees here." Gideon looked out of the window, clearly having high standards for his Postman Pat lifestyle. He put the knuckle of his thumb into his mouth and started biting it nervously. They were getting close. He didn't wanna. He didn't want to do it all over again.

He wondered if there would be a black and white cat. And maybe a nice postman. Maybe he could just leave with the postman if it got too hard. They could mail him to the North Pole.

Gunn parked the car and looked outside at the house. Damn. That house with the white walls, the blue door and windows, the dark roof and the ivy growing on the side. Cottage living indeed, looked like what every American thought England was like. "There is a apple tree in the garden."

He pointed that out, because winning arguments against a small child was good for the ego sometimes. "Let's go and see, all right?"

He saw the door open and Holden walked outside, clearly eager, a smile on his face, looking a little nervous. He was also wearing a ridiculously cute fox sweater. Or jumper. Whatever English people said.

He liked the blue door a lot. Blue door, dark green roof, apple trees. He studied it curiously and then let Gunn undo his seatbelt. As nice as the place looked, his stomach was doing loops again and he just didn't want to get out of the car. He anxiously looked at Gunn and then opened his door, knowing he had no other option. He'd tried it all before. He'd bargained, he'd asked to come home with Gunn, he asked to be sent to the North Pole but every time, he went to the new home.

He hurried behind Gunn and stuck carefully behind him as they walked forward. He eyed up the house and then the man before looking at the apple trees. It was so green here, he had never seen to much greenery.

There were no cars around, no one was yelling, the houses weren't all attached either...

"Hello, you must be Gideon." Holden greeted Gideon right away, crouching down to be close to eye level. He didn't hold a hand out, he assumed he might be feeling a little shy about that. What a cute boy. What an obviously neglected boy too. "Do you want to come in? I just got some pie from the lady across the street, she's the best."

And he may or may not have asked her very nicely to please bake something when Gunn had told him yesterday that he might bring by a boy today. "It's apple pie."

Which was not invented in America, even if Gunn thought it was.

"Apple pie sounds great. Can I have some?" Gunn was hungry. Always, really.

He knew he would be left alone here soon so instinct took over and he held so tight onto Gunn's pant leg that he would have to come in for pie or Gideon would not come in. He stared at Holden for a long time and then buried his head against Gunn's leg. What if he got in there, Holden realised he hated him and Gunn was gone? Then it was going to be awful all over again.

He seemed nice and he had apple trees. Maybe he was like Postman Pat. Or Fireman Sam. It looked like that sort of place. Like a cool tv show. He just hoped it would be nice here.

"Let's go inside, shall we?" Holden kept a nice smile and turned to head into the house, with Gunn following behind him, holding Gideon's hand again.

"It's all good, promise," he said to Gideon quietly and then they were inside. As cosy as promised from the outside, perhaps even more so. Looked like a hobbit's home or something. A lot of wood, nice furniture, a basket filled with blankets, a fireplace. A kitchen right there too and a nice round dining table that, yes, had a pie on top of it.

Holden was already slicing the pie, putting one piece after the other onto plates until there were three plates. "Welcome home, Gideon. Enjoy the pie."

He gestured for him to sit and sat down himself as well.

"Whoa, you got a nice TV." Well, Gunn noticed the one thing that didn't really fit the aesthetic. "And game consoles? Sweet."

Gideon didn't immediately sit down. He looked at the TV for a few moments, wondering if he was going to be allowed to watch it or they'd be weird like the last place he went to. So many boring, annoying rules there. No TV unless chores were done was so dumb. He looked at the games console and then the fireplace, wondering if he got more presents at Christmas than other people. Santa probably liked the fireplaces more, that's why he didn't get anything. Their apartment never had a chimney.

He looked at the books curiously, then the plants on the windowsill. It looked really different to everywhere he had ever been - it was so small but nice. It smelled like fire and apples.

Coming over to Gunn, he looked at Holden again before he climbed up onto his seat. "Does Santa like coming here?"

"I reckon so," Holden said, nodding his head, "He'll like it a lot more now that you're here. Probably already has someone working on your presents. We'll have to write a letter to Santa so he knows what you want and where you live."

Seemed like a good thing, to engage with what the boy was talking about. "But first, I hear your birthday isn't far off. So maybe there will be some presents for that."

Holden was very, very certain that there would be, if only Gideon would actually want to stay here with him.

Gunn ate the pie, which was delicious, and he let them talk. Seemed best to let them get to know each other.

"I don't think I have a birthday." Gideon said with a small frown and then attempted to eat some of his apple pie. It was hard, he had never learned to master a fork so he mostly used it to break up the pie and slowly eat it with his hands. That was easier for him and it meant less thinking. He always ate with his hands back home. "If I had one, I'd want a postman van."

He knew what he wanted, he'd wanted one since he knew that he could have things. He had asked his mom, all three of his foster families and Gunn. One day, he would get one. Maybe.

"Postman Pat has a van. And a cat but I don't want a cat. They scratch."

"Postman Pat does have a van, doesn't he? He's a smart bloke, would be hard to lug all those parcels around by foot." Made sense. Holden noted the interest in Postman Pat and he was already plotting the birthday party. He was positive he had seen some Postman Pat stuff around various stores before. "We don't have a cat here, but we do have chickens. And two quails. You can meet them tomorrow, if you feel up to it. They give us fresh eggs, which is great."

About the only thing he cooked, usually.

Chickens? He had chickens. Like a farmer. He was really cool, he had so many nice things. That was why he wanted a nice boy. And he wasn't a nice boy, so he didn't think he'd get to stay long but... but maybe a van before he had to go. He squirmed in his seat and looked anxiously around, unsure how someone could be a good enough boy to get a postman van.

Nice people were the hardest, they hurt the most. "I can meet the chickens." Maybe. If they weren't too scary. He had never seen a chicken outside of TV before. "I've met a dog before. My mom's boyfriend had two dogs. They barked a lot." He didn't really like them, they weren't fun. "Never met a chicken."

"Chickens are fun to meet too. I'll take you to them tomorrow and we can feed them some treats. You just have to take a bath first today because they get scared when you don't smell like home." Or, you know, when someone stank the way poor Gideon unfortunately did. However, Holden didn't want to call the boy smelly, he just wanted to give him some proper motivation to get clean today without forcing him. "When you're done eating, I can show you your room. It's upstairs, next to my room. And from your window you can probably even spot the chickens, unless they are all in bed already."

Gunn finished his pie, grinning. This was going well. Holden really was good at this.

He really didn't want to take a bath but if he wanted to meet the chickens, he had to. He supposed he could dip quickly and then get out. He didn't know what to think of the room or what to do with all of this, he just felt a little sick. What if he wet the bed? What if he broke something? What if the chickens hated him and he had to leave? How did he make chickens like him?

He frowned nervously and then looked at Gunn. "You have to see my room too." And if it was too nice, maybe he could tell Gunn that it had be less nice so he didn't ruin it.

"Yep, Giddie. Can't wait to see it." Gunn got up, since he sensed that his presence was needed here. Still, this time he didn't take Gideon's hand, seeing how Holden was holding his out.

"Do you want to take my hand? It's up the stairs." Not that he doubted Gideon could walk it, he just wanted to try and get a little closer to the boy. He knew it would take a long time to properly gain his trust. "I got some clothes for you, but nothing special. Just clothes that a neighbour had from when her kids were little."

Better than the dirty stuff Gideon was wearing right now, there was that. "Up you go, son." That said he started heading up the stairs, hoping that Gideon would be able to feel less tense soon.

Gideon had to wait a few to make up his mind and then he held the hand carefully, wondering if he was a doctor or something. He seemed really nice so he had to be something like that. As they got up the stairs, he checked to make sure Gunn was there twice before they opened the door to his room.

When the light turned on, Gideon looked around in awe, wondering if this was really where he slept. He frowned and walked over to the bed, looking at the bedsheets. Forest friends - he liked that. He traced the rabbit with his finger for a moment.

"This is mine?"

"Yea, my boy. That's all yours." Holden smiled, leaning back against the desk that was in the room. He saw the awe on Gideon's face and it warmed and hurt his heart in equal measures. He wanted to make this boy feel so very loved, but obviously he knew he couldn't rush this. "If you look in the dresser over there, that's where your clothes are."

Gunn stayed in the doorframe, not wanting to overwhelm Gideon even more. What a nice room though, with such a cosy aesthetic again. Something to be said for country living for sure.

He looked in the dresser at the other clothes and wondered if he got to keep them if he had to leave. Gunn had his old stuff but he only had two changes of clothes left now, the others had been ruined over the passed month and had been tossed by his foster parents. Right now, he was wearing a second hand shirt from the last house and it barely fit him, it kept sliding off his shoulder.

He looked at Holden curiously. If he got to stay here, how long would it be nice before he ruined it? He didn't want to ruin it. It looks so nice. Like Greendale.

Walking over to Gunn, he pulled on his trouser leg until he was leaning closer to him and then he whispered. Child whispered, not so subtly. "I have to tell you something."

"What's up, kid?" Gunn lifted Gideon up in his arms and stepped out into the hallway, while Holden busied himself by looking through the bookshelf in Gideon's room. So, yes, he had been preparing this for a while. He wanted this so desperately, had wanted it for a while now. The important thing was not to rush things now. Be patient, not force anything.

All he wanted was for Gideon to be happy with him.

"It's too nice, I'm gonna ruin it. And if I ruin it, he'll be mad. And he's nice." And he didn't want to ruin what the nice man had for him. This was the best house ever and all he wanted was to stay in that room and watch the big TV downstairs, maybe play football and look at the apple trees. He didn't want to go back yet. "It's all nice and new. What if I wet the bed or I spill?"

He never had the awareness of being dirty before but now he did. His hands were sticky with apple pie and he got it on things already. "I got apple on the bedcovers..."

"Okay. Okay, let me try something. Yeah? Just trust me, Giddie." That said, Gunn turned to look at Holden, calling over to him. "Hey, Holden. I've got a question. Another charge of mine, this little girl, she keeps wetting the bed. Is that weird? What do I do?"

Holden's expression softened, putting two and two together quickly. "No, that's perfectly normal for a young child. Especially when big changes happen or other excitement. It's not a big deal, that's what washing machines are for. The important thing is to never be mad at the kid for it, just wash the stuff and make sure they aren't embarrassed. Accidents happen, just like mistakes happen. Like they say, that's why there are erasers on pencils."

"What if it's really nice sheets and she ruins them? Does she still get sheets?" Gideon asked, a curious kid in so many ways, more interested in how it all worked. He usually got scolded and had to sleep on the couch if he wet the bed. Except at home, where he just rolled over and kept sleeping. Mom didn't care but everyone else really did.

"What if her hands are sticky and she ruins the bedroom?" Like he was going to do. He just wanted to touch all the nice things but he couldn't, his hands left dirty smears on stuff!

"Well, then it's the parents' fault for not teaching her how to clean her hands properly. Like you and I are going to get nice and clean today, aren't we? And if the girl wets really nice sheets, then the really nice sheets can be washed nicely. Doesn't ruin them at all, washing machines are great that way."

Holden smiled, happy to relieve some of Gideon's stress here. He was hoping, anyway. "Maybe tomorrow, you and I can out a wash on and then hang the laundry outside. You'll see how fast it gets all clean and then dries. No drama at all."

Gunn hugged Gideon close for a moment, smiling. "See? Holden has it all figured out. He'll make sure you're good together."

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