"But you promised me." Gideon said, worked up and hurt still because he trusted Holden, he liked him and he wanted him to protect him. And he held him down while the nurse put the scary needles in and hurt him. "You promised and you broke your promise!" Gideon yelled, irrationally upset and not sure what to do with his feelings. Really, he was just hurt and sad, he couldn't help it. "You SAID it would be okay!"
And he lied. "You're a liar! You lied, you're a liar!"
As soon as he started yelling, he started crying, he couldn't help it. He had too many emotions bouncing around in his little skull. "Why did you lie?!"
"I know it will be okay. I'm just sorry that you had to hurt first." Holden had known to expect this and he felt so bad for the little boy. However, part of him was just a little bit happy about it. Happy that Gideon felt comfortable enough to get mad at him, to even yell. To start crying in front of him.
He leaned back to undo Gideon's seatbelt and then tried to coax him forward, so he could pull him on his lap. He wasn't sure whether Gideon would want to be held right now, but it was worth a try. "I love you, Gideon. Sometimes I have to do what's best for you, even if you don't like it. I'm sorry."
Gideon let himself get moved because he really did want a hug, even if he was angry. He cried for a few and looked miserable as he leaned in Holden's lap, wondering if it was true or not. Maybe it was true. Holden was nice, it didn't seem like him to be very mean and awful. Maybe it was like the chicken. Maybe he was an upset chicken.
"Were you mad at your brother?" He yanked his tooth out. He would be mad if someone yanked his teeth.
"Huh. You know, I'm not sure. Probably not. Never did any good, being mad at Jonathan. He didn't care either way." His brother was difficult to explain, so Holden simply shrugged. "He wasn't gonna apologise and he didn't say that he did it because it'd be good for me. He just said my whining was annoying."
He was quite certain that Jonathan had felt bad for him, but still. Not the kind of thing his brother ever admitted to. "Anyway, I did start to feel better after a few hours. And I had potato mash that day, that was nice."
"Do you still play with your brother?" He never had a brother but it sounded weird. He couldn't imagine having a big brother. The closest he had was when people came over to drink with his mom. "I don't have a brother or a sister. I was always alone. Mom said she didn't want me, it was a mistake but she liked me anyway."
Or, at least, she liked him in some way. "I always wanted a brother to play with, it was lonely and boring. Now it's less boring, I have chickens." So way better, honestly.
"I don't think I've ever played with my brother... He was quite a bit older than me." And he just wasn't that type of person. Holden shrugged. "He lives up the hill, actually. Over there."
Holden indicated the direction, then ran his fingers through Gideon's hair. It was so soft now, so shiny and nice. Washing it really had done wonders. "I don't know about a brother, sweet boy, but we are going to try nursery school. Also, I've been thinking..."
Was this bribery, given the day they'd had? Whatever. "How would you like to get a puppy?"
"I want a puppy more than nursery. I don't wanna go to nursery." He didn't like other kids much, he had only bad experiences with foster siblings so to him, the biggest appeal was puppy. He had never had a pet. "... Do they bite a lot? My mom had a boyfriend and his dog bit. He snapped when he was angry. And he was always angry."
He mimed the snapping for Holden and then looked towards the hill curiously. Holden had family - that was so weird. "Where do you get a puppy? How do you get a nice puppy?"
"Puppies only bite when they are upset or angry and not trained well. But we'd make sure our puppy is nice and happy, like we are." Seemed like the easiest way to explain that. And he'd not get into the nursery school argument right now, they'd cross that bridge later. "There's a couple of ways to get a puppy, but I was thinking about it because some kids I used to help, well, I guess they are adults now. Friends. And they have a beautiful dog and she has had puppies recently. We could go and have a look."
"We could go today." Said the tiny boy with puffy cheeks, slightly slurred and considerable pain. Well, pain was nothing compared to a puppy to love and cuddle all the time. Was he allowed a puppy? Did he ask Gunn or did Holden get to decide when they had things. "If we get a puppy... then I can't go away. I have to stay. Because it's my puppy and I take care of it."
So Holden wasn't allowed to get a puppy if he didn't want him anymore. "You can't make the puppy sad." Or him either.
"Sweet lad..." Holden shook his head, running his fingers through Gideon's hair, hoping to be able to reassure him. "I'd rather let people take the house than ever let anyone take you away. You are my boy, aren't you? Forever and ever."
He wasn't going to lose him, no matter what. "But we could get a puppy, because we both want one. Get one together, like we have the chickens. Although the puppy is going to be a lot more work." He knew that much. But walking a lot every day, training a puppy to behave, teaching Gideon responsibility, all of those seemed good. "I don't think we should go today. Today we need to have food that's gentle on your teeth and maybe we can watch a nice movie."
"Tomorrow." Gideon decided, which was very patient for him. He nodded his head tiredly and then wrapped his arms around Holden's neck - well, he wanted to be carried, he was sick and hurty. He deserved it. And it was so easy with Holden - he just held him, carried him, hugged him unprompted. It was so fun.
"Can we visit your brother? We can bring him eggs..." And then he could see Holden's brother. He was curious, like all kids would be, and he just wanted to see if he had more family.
"I guess. We can try to go his way some time this week, maybe he'll be home." Holden got out of the car, carrying his boy and his boy's toys with him. He headed for their door and unlocked it, then took off his shoes while still carrying Gideon. Finally he set him down on the bench in the hallway and bent down to help him with his shoes. "Jonathan isn't one to like people a lot, so he's not usually nice."
Seemed only fair to give him a warning. "But he does like eggs, so I'm sure he'd say thanks."
"We can say hello and then run away if he's mean." Gideon explained as he let Holden remove his shoes for him. He wondered if Jonathan was scary and if he could play with him or not. Probably not, if Holden said he was not nice. Not nice and a teeth puller... maybe he'd say hello from a distance.
"If he's your brother, what is he to me?" How did it work? He wanted to understand family so badly, he wanted to be able to brag to others.
"I guess he's your uncle." Holden laughed at that, shaking his head a little. "Damn. Bet he'd love that."
That said he picked Gideon back up and carried him into the kitchen, where he started the kettle. He got got a vegetable mix from the freezer and put a pot on the stovetop, having an idea for Gideon's dinner.
"He won't be that mean, he's just not good with people. He has a strong Irish accent, but I'm sure you can understand him."
Well, probably. Worth a try, anyway. "He likes birds, so you could tell him about the chickens."
"I love the chickens, we're best friends." That's why he didn't need a nursery or anything else really. He had Holden and the chickens, and soon a puppy, so he didn't really need any other kids in his life. He was happy as he was and school would surely only ruin his peace.
"Do you have any other family?"
Did he have a grandma or a grandpa? Did he have anything fun?
"Well... Not anyone actually related, no. I have chosen family. I have people like Remus and Sirius, you'll meet them. And Gyungho and Minjun, of course." Hard to explain the concept of chosen family, but maybe not. He supposed someone with Gideon's background should be able to understand. "And, of course, you know so many people in the village that are like family for us."
Every woman in the neighbourhood seemed to have adopted Gideon with him. "When I first came to London, I worked for a man that feels a bit as if he's my uncle. Aziraphale. He owns a bookshop."
Holden poured the water on top of the instant mash as soon as it was boiling and then began stirring it. "Can you get me a plate, son?"
"Uh-huh." Gideon got his little step stool and used it to get the plates out carefully, getting two just in case Holden needed an extra. He set one aside and carefully climbed down his steps, coming over with the plate. He had dropped a cup two days ago and it had been tragic, he cried for almost an hour over it so now he was hypervigilant and took his time.
"I get to meet them all? I'm in the ... the family?" He wanted to be, he didn't like being just alone. "Am I still a Fletcher?" His name was Fletcher. Gideon Fletcher. And Holden was Holden O'Shea. Could he be in his family if he didn't have the same name?
"You are my family. We are working on the paperwork. But once it is all seen through, Gideon, you could be Gideon O'Shea. Do you want that?" Holden thought it sounded quite nice, all things considered, but he didn't want to take the boy's identity from him. What he did take from him were the plates, which he set out.
He put a generous portion of mashed potato on Gideon's plate first, then began using the veggie to make a face. Carrots for the eyes, with pea pupils, a broccoli nose and then he got a piece of bacon from the fridge so there would be a nice mouth. He showed it to Gideon and smiled. "There. Special dinner for my brave boy."
"I wanna be an O'Shea. I think my mommy wouldn't mind. I can ask her when I write my letter." He had no writing skills but he could communicate it in drawing form. He didn't think she cared much so he assumed it was fine.
He came over and peered at the food, his eyes wide and then he grinned a big, wide grin. "Woah, it's a face!"
He sat himself at the table and looked at it a few more times before he started to eat.
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gay90s2023-08-16 08:00 pm
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And he lied. "You're a liar! You lied, you're a liar!"
As soon as he started yelling, he started crying, he couldn't help it. He had too many emotions bouncing around in his little skull. "Why did you lie?!"
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He leaned back to undo Gideon's seatbelt and then tried to coax him forward, so he could pull him on his lap. He wasn't sure whether Gideon would want to be held right now, but it was worth a try. "I love you, Gideon. Sometimes I have to do what's best for you, even if you don't like it. I'm sorry."
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"Were you mad at your brother?" He yanked his tooth out. He would be mad if someone yanked his teeth.
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He was quite certain that Jonathan had felt bad for him, but still. Not the kind of thing his brother ever admitted to. "Anyway, I did start to feel better after a few hours. And I had potato mash that day, that was nice."
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Or, at least, she liked him in some way. "I always wanted a brother to play with, it was lonely and boring. Now it's less boring, I have chickens." So way better, honestly.
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Holden indicated the direction, then ran his fingers through Gideon's hair. It was so soft now, so shiny and nice. Washing it really had done wonders. "I don't know about a brother, sweet boy, but we are going to try nursery school. Also, I've been thinking..."
Was this bribery, given the day they'd had? Whatever. "How would you like to get a puppy?"
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He mimed the snapping for Holden and then looked towards the hill curiously. Holden had family - that was so weird. "Where do you get a puppy? How do you get a nice puppy?"
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So Holden wasn't allowed to get a puppy if he didn't want him anymore. "You can't make the puppy sad." Or him either.
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He wasn't going to lose him, no matter what. "But we could get a puppy, because we both want one. Get one together, like we have the chickens. Although the puppy is going to be a lot more work." He knew that much. But walking a lot every day, training a puppy to behave, teaching Gideon responsibility, all of those seemed good. "I don't think we should go today. Today we need to have food that's gentle on your teeth and maybe we can watch a nice movie."
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"Can we visit your brother? We can bring him eggs..." And then he could see Holden's brother. He was curious, like all kids would be, and he just wanted to see if he had more family.
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Seemed only fair to give him a warning. "But he does like eggs, so I'm sure he'd say thanks."
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"If he's your brother, what is he to me?" How did it work? He wanted to understand family so badly, he wanted to be able to brag to others.
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That said he picked Gideon back up and carried him into the kitchen, where he started the kettle. He got got a vegetable mix from the freezer and put a pot on the stovetop, having an idea for Gideon's dinner.
"He won't be that mean, he's just not good with people. He has a strong Irish accent, but I'm sure you can understand him."
Well, probably. Worth a try, anyway. "He likes birds, so you could tell him about the chickens."
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"Do you have any other family?"
Did he have a grandma or a grandpa? Did he have anything fun?
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Every woman in the neighbourhood seemed to have adopted Gideon with him. "When I first came to London, I worked for a man that feels a bit as if he's my uncle. Aziraphale. He owns a bookshop."
Holden poured the water on top of the instant mash as soon as it was boiling and then began stirring it. "Can you get me a plate, son?"
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"I get to meet them all? I'm in the ... the family?" He wanted to be, he didn't like being just alone. "Am I still a Fletcher?" His name was Fletcher. Gideon Fletcher. And Holden was Holden O'Shea. Could he be in his family if he didn't have the same name?
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He put a generous portion of mashed potato on Gideon's plate first, then began using the veggie to make a face. Carrots for the eyes, with pea pupils, a broccoli nose and then he got a piece of bacon from the fridge so there would be a nice mouth. He showed it to Gideon and smiled. "There. Special dinner for my brave boy."
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He came over and peered at the food, his eyes wide and then he grinned a big, wide grin. "Woah, it's a face!"
He sat himself at the table and looked at it a few more times before he started to eat.