"Uh, HIV, right now at least. I'm doing okay, my doctor gave me an estimate if I keep going like I am but I'm stubborn, I'll beat it." He wasn't going to take those meds. All of his mates that did, they ended up dead. And he wasn't going to die so soon. "It's just -- I mean, I ate enough? I had the wagon wheel. Well, almost all of the wagon wheel."
He finished the last bite, just to show Holden. "See, look, ate it."
He put the wrapper in the trash, struggling to process how Holden spoke about it. He wasn't disgusted or horrified, just himself. How did he even react to that. "I can eat when I'm home. It's cool. Thanks... I'm not used to that. Most people react with disgust. I've lost almost every mate I had that didn't already die from it."
"That's because your mates are all pillocks." Seemed only fair to point that out. Holden shook his head, trying to recall everything he had read on the issue. Which, considering he knew Remus and others and since he specialised a lot in these matters was actually quite a lot. "You wouldn't have anything healthy at home. Come over to the kitchen, I'll make you a baked potato."
That was his exciting dinner plan tonight. "Remus has HIV. Did you know?" Probably not. "Sirius is still with him. Not everyone is like your mates, Felix."
"I know Sirius has a dog... that's kind of it. Oh and his boyfriend works with books." He liked Sirius, he saw him around a lot but he had no idea Remus had a boyfriend. "I dunno if I can stay around your kid, mate. It's not safe." What if he bled or something? He liked Holden, he wanted his kid to like him, he wanted to be a good person and not fuck one thing up.
And so far, he'd goaded Holden into a kiss and now they were doing to his kitchen. "I try to keep distance, you know? I'm never sure. I just -- I didn't mean to catch it. I was really drunk and the guy I was with, he lied." He didn't blame him, he got it. "He was a good guy, he was. Honest. Just a little out of it. He's dead now, he went so fast..."
"Well, Felix, then I recommend you stay away from sharp objects and especially blades. Which has always been my recommendation for you." That said he grabbed Felix by the arm and led him along to the door, through the hallway. The movie would be far from over, so hopefully that would mean Felix had some time to adjust to this. "I promise to grab Gideon and hold him out of reach as soon as you start bleeding."
He was teasing, just a little. He hoped a bit of humour could help Felix relax. "Look, Felix. We all know how this goes. And we, the community, we've got to stick together. I've friends that work in research. Friends that are carers. Friends affected. I get it."
As much as he could, anyway. "And you can eat a potato. Won't hurt anyone."
"You wouldn't think it if you talk to Michael." Michael was a little concerned, not just of him but for him, and sometimes his protectiveness freaked Felix out a lot. Felix came into the kitchen and looked around at the little area with the tiny step stool, colourful plates and glasses and the cross stitching on the wall. Yeah, there was a Holden hobby.
He turned his head and there, on the couch, was a tiny boy watching a Disney movie. He was in pyjamas, had dirty blond hair and wide eyes.
Gideon turned towards them and looked curiously before he waved shyly. "Hi." A new person. A patient? He wasn't allowed those. "Holden, there's a patient."
"That's my mate Felix, Gideon. You can say hello if you want to." That said he started stabbing the potatoes with a fork so they'd be ready to go into the oven, glancing at Felix. "And if you ask my brother I'm insane for wanting to engage with any part of the world and caring about anyone other than myself, so really. What do brothers know?"
Holden shrugged. "Michael has a lot of issues. We know that." Especially when it came to Felix.
"Hello." Gideon offered shyly as he paused his video and got up, coming over slowly and then rushing over so he could hold onto Holden's pants protectively. "I'm Gideon, I'm his boy." He just wanted that to be clear to everyone.
"I know, I heard. That's so cool. Holden's such a good dad, huh?" Felix dropped into a crouch, grinning at the boy. He was so small. "Is that Postman Pat on your pyjamas. Wicked! You have the best taste."
Gideon grinned and then hid his face against Holden's leg.
"Gideon loves Postman Pat. He has a Postman Pat themed birthday party coming up, right?" Holden ran a hand through the hair of his suddenly very shy boy, then let go of him so he could pop the potatoes into the oven. He glanced at the clock so he'd know the time, then he picked Gideon up and looked at Felix. "Gideon likes where we live because it's like the Postman Pat village."
As good a reason as any, he supposed. "Gideon, Felix's brother lives in the manor. You know, the one on the hill, the really fancy one."
"The big one where all the things are big and fancy."
"Yeah, that's the one. It's giant in there. He has a pool too. He never uses it, says it's too much, too wet. He really is a weirdo." Felix dismissed as he got back onto his feet and smiled awkwardly at Holden. "You really don't have to cook for me. I was going to go to Michael to rant and usually he has a snack or something for me to have before I drive back."
"Where do you live? In the village?"
"Nah, London. I'm in an apartment with three other dudes. It's terrible, I love it." He loved sharing and being around people so for him, it was pretty entertaining. Unless he really needed to pee or the dishes weren't done.
"Gideon used to live in the city, but he's a country boy now, aren't you?" He bopped Gideon's nose and sat him down on the counter, because he was starting to get a little bit heavy for him.
"Felix works at a café, Gid. Like Nancy from down the street. He can make really cool art on top of coffee and hot chocolate." Well, it was pretty impressive, he thought. Holden almost brought up Minjun but then decided against it. "Gideon really enjoys some steamed and foamed milk, you know? He's a fancy boy."
"Did you know Aussies call it a babycino?" Felix informed Holden wisely as he leaned up against the wall, just watching the father and son interact. They were pretty cute together. "I don't work in a café right now but I hope to again soon." His meltdown kind of killed his career and got him fired so now he was working on trying to work out what direction to go. "I hate working for other people, they never have any fun and we never have any new clients. Always commuters getting coffee. They never even look at the art!"
He really wanted to own his own place but that was a dream he shared with Minjun. Seemed wrong to change the dream and do it without him. "But I can do all kinds of art. I can do hearts, swirls, leaves and even ducks."
"Wow, you can do ducks?" Holden knew that, of course, but he was in awe anyway. He remembered those ducks, they looked precious. "Maybe he could even do our chickens, eh?"
There was a fun thought. "Gideon's best friends are our chickens. We're working on getting him to like kids his age." It was a bit of a tough sell, for understandable reasons. "Maybe you can do some latte art for us some time."
Maybe he was getting ahead of himself there. What else was new?
"I can try it out. You want a chicken latte?" Gideon nodded his head, not sure what one was but he wanted to see it. "We'll make it a hot chocolate, naturally, but I can try. If it's okay. I don't want to impose, you have people coming over."
"I'm getting a puppy today." Gideon told him, as he had told everyone the past few days.
"Woooah. No way. Really? A puppy." That was... a lot of work. God, he hoped Holden was ready for that. "Sounds really exciting. Are you ready to have a puppy? It's a lot of work."
"I'm gonna train it and love it always." Gideon wisely informed him as he reached out to Holden for support around the stranger. "It's gonna be my best friend."
"He got his teeth done by the dentist and was a brave boy, so it showed me he's ready to have a puppy." Holden smiled at Gideon, then looked at Holden and shrugged his shoulders. "Sirius's dog had puppies, they have one left. Anyway, we go on walks a lot as it is and he is really good and gentle with animals, so I figure it might work out for the best."
Here was hoping, anyway. "Might be a bit much, but nothing we can't handle, huh?"
Hopefully. "You should stay, Felix. If you want. Remus and Sirius won't at all mind you being here."
"I can stay for a bit and then I should go see Michael or he might start to worry. He's been kind of on edge." Fair enough, he got HIV and tried to kill himself so he figured Michael had a point but even so - protective much? Pfft. "He worries, like I said, I made a lot of messes and now it's just -- reclaiming my adulthood and proving I'm not a mess."
"You can always clean up messes." Gideon wisely told him as he leaned into Holden for a moment and the reached his arms out to get down from the counters.
"Wise words. Thank you, Gideon." Felix offered and then turned to Holden with a smile. "Can I, uh, grab a drink? What do you have?"
"Darling boy, you can go watch the rest of your movie, yeah?" Holden helped Gideon down, then kissed his forehead before he let him walk back to continue on with the movie. Should fill the time before the puppy would come nicely.
He gestured to Felix. "You can check the fridge. I've got some G&T and beer that's probably closing in on expiring, also got cider and lots of drink options for kids that might be right up your alley. Really likes Capri Sun, Gid does."
And he really liked indulging him. "He's had a rough life so far, I'm kinda spoiling him."
"I figured from the -- is it rude to say how he looks? I don't mean any offence, he just has the vibe." He looked like he had a rough life. He still had bags under his eyes, he was scrawny and short. Clearly a runt. He watched the boy get comfortable on the couch and hug his teddy bear close as he watched the rest of his movie. "Couldn't have asked for a better dad though, huh?"
Holden was the ultimate dad, he thought it was perfect for a kid like that to come to him.
Felix took out his capri sun and took a sip before he paused and frowned. "Wait. Sirius isn't coming on his bike, is he?" Two people and one puppy on a bike? God, no!
"I hope I can be good for him. We're getting there. He trusts me now." Which was the most important first hurdle. "He even yelled at me the other day." Huge milestone, that, so he felt like bragging about it. He grinned and then looked at Felix, shrugging.
"Look, it's Sirius, so I'm sure he would. Luckily, however, Remus is sensible and Remus is the one in charge of that relationship when it comes down to it, so I'm hoping they'll have borrowed a car."
They made a bit of small talk about Gideon and how things were progressing when suddenly, there was a few honks of a car and headlights shining through the window. Gideon jumped up, excited, and ran to the window. People had parked outside. "Holden! Holden!"
"Oh, they borrowed a car, awesome." He came closer and peered out of the window before he cracked up and turned to Holden. "They borrowed Spike's car, from the looks of it. Remember Spike?" The back windows were all blacked out so Nicki could be hungover in the back and the car made the most unhealthy of noises.
"Hard to forget. Couldn't borrow the car from someone reliable, could they?" Holden shook his head but smiled, glancing at the clock once before he headed out the kitchen to open the door for the guests. "Let's say hello, Gideon, shall we?"
He opened the door and there was Sirius already with a squirming puppy in his arm. He crouched down pretty much immediately to be level with Gideon, holding the puppy up for him. "Do you want to greet him?"
"Do you want to greet first, Sirius?" Holden rolled his eyes, looking behind Sirius at Remus. "I know he was raised to have manners, so what went wrong?"
"I do not know. Hey, sorry we are so ridiculously late but we couldn't get a car and then we had to wake Spike up to get his." Remus explained, looking exhausted as he crouched down too, eager to see what happened with the puppy.
And it was as precious as expected. Gideon held his arms out, an excited puppy ran at him and they were cuddling and playing on the doorstep in seconds. Gideon giggled and looked at Holden. "Look! Look!"
"That's precious." Felix agreed and then held his hand up in greeting to Sirius and Remus. "Hey. I'm his patient. I just stayed to see the puppy."
"Uh-huh. Nice seeing you, mate. Getting an in with the ex by being the patient, that's original." Sirius was teasing here, holding a hand up to greet him as well. "It's a cute puppy. Worth seeing. Gideon, the puppy was so eager to see you, he peed in Spike's car."
How cute. Almost as cute as Holden rushing back from where he'd walked off to, returning with his camera. He started taking pictures of Gideon and the puppy getting to know each other, as excited as Gideon was.
"It's so precious, Felix." He held on to Felix's arm without even thinking about it, leaning against him. "Look, they'll become friends. I always wanted a dog..."
"Yeah, kids do that. We had a dog growing up, I liked it a lot. Then it tragically died and Michael and Stephen tried to gaslight me into thinking it was secretly a dead child I misremembered... siblings suck ass. Stick to pets." Felix didn't mind the way Holden grabbed him, he didn't notice at first either. It just all felt very natural and easy. He missed it.
"It peed in Spike's car, it pooped, it scratched... we're so screwed." Remus shrugged as he came closer to watch the puppy and Gideon bond. "Do you love the puppy already?"
"YES! I wanna name himmmmm ... Friend. Cause he's my friend." Original.
"You could consider Buddy or something?" Felix pitched, trying to make it sound less stilted.
"How about 'Caraid'? Means friend in Irish." And sounded a lot less stilted, Holden was hoping. Besides, talking to Jonathan - however infrequently - was kind of reawakening a longing to get back to the roots, just a little bit. And perhaps he was also thinking just a little bit about how Felix had told him that he sounded sexy when he sounded Irish.
"That name's brill," Sirius agreed, grinning and wrapping both arms around Remus. "I'm so happy Crowley didn't lend us his car now, can you imagine how dead I'd be?" He imagined, comparatively, Spike would make a lot less of a fuss. His car was kinda shite anyway.
"Caraid. My puppy is called Cariad." Gideon informed Sirius as he tried to hold the puppy up but the puppy was so squirmy, it just got loose and ran in a few circles around the yard. "Can the puppy see my room?"
"Maybe the puppy should see the house. Less likely for it to run into the street." Remus pointed out as he got up and caught the puppy, holding it firmly and looking at Sirius. "Took us half an hour to catch the pup when it got loose from the apartment so I advise you train it up and use the lead."
"Christ, a puppy..." Felix couldn't wrap his head around it. He laughed and shook his head, grinning at Holden. "You're nuts. You know that, right? Utterly nuts." Stupid sexy Irish bastard.
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gay90s2023-08-16 08:00 pm
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He finished the last bite, just to show Holden. "See, look, ate it."
He put the wrapper in the trash, struggling to process how Holden spoke about it. He wasn't disgusted or horrified, just himself. How did he even react to that. "I can eat when I'm home. It's cool. Thanks... I'm not used to that. Most people react with disgust. I've lost almost every mate I had that didn't already die from it."
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That was his exciting dinner plan tonight. "Remus has HIV. Did you know?" Probably not. "Sirius is still with him. Not everyone is like your mates, Felix."
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And so far, he'd goaded Holden into a kiss and now they were doing to his kitchen. "I try to keep distance, you know? I'm never sure. I just -- I didn't mean to catch it. I was really drunk and the guy I was with, he lied." He didn't blame him, he got it. "He was a good guy, he was. Honest. Just a little out of it. He's dead now, he went so fast..."
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He was teasing, just a little. He hoped a bit of humour could help Felix relax. "Look, Felix. We all know how this goes. And we, the community, we've got to stick together. I've friends that work in research. Friends that are carers. Friends affected. I get it."
As much as he could, anyway. "And you can eat a potato. Won't hurt anyone."
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He turned his head and there, on the couch, was a tiny boy watching a Disney movie. He was in pyjamas, had dirty blond hair and wide eyes.
Gideon turned towards them and looked curiously before he waved shyly. "Hi." A new person. A patient? He wasn't allowed those. "Holden, there's a patient."
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Holden shrugged. "Michael has a lot of issues. We know that." Especially when it came to Felix.
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"I know, I heard. That's so cool. Holden's such a good dad, huh?" Felix dropped into a crouch, grinning at the boy. He was so small. "Is that Postman Pat on your pyjamas. Wicked! You have the best taste."
Gideon grinned and then hid his face against Holden's leg.
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As good a reason as any, he supposed. "Gideon, Felix's brother lives in the manor. You know, the one on the hill, the really fancy one."
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"Yeah, that's the one. It's giant in there. He has a pool too. He never uses it, says it's too much, too wet. He really is a weirdo." Felix dismissed as he got back onto his feet and smiled awkwardly at Holden. "You really don't have to cook for me. I was going to go to Michael to rant and usually he has a snack or something for me to have before I drive back."
"Where do you live? In the village?"
"Nah, London. I'm in an apartment with three other dudes. It's terrible, I love it." He loved sharing and being around people so for him, it was pretty entertaining. Unless he really needed to pee or the dishes weren't done.
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"Felix works at a café, Gid. Like Nancy from down the street. He can make really cool art on top of coffee and hot chocolate." Well, it was pretty impressive, he thought. Holden almost brought up Minjun but then decided against it. "Gideon really enjoys some steamed and foamed milk, you know? He's a fancy boy."
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He really wanted to own his own place but that was a dream he shared with Minjun. Seemed wrong to change the dream and do it without him. "But I can do all kinds of art. I can do hearts, swirls, leaves and even ducks."
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There was a fun thought. "Gideon's best friends are our chickens. We're working on getting him to like kids his age." It was a bit of a tough sell, for understandable reasons. "Maybe you can do some latte art for us some time."
Maybe he was getting ahead of himself there. What else was new?
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"I'm getting a puppy today." Gideon told him, as he had told everyone the past few days.
"Woooah. No way. Really? A puppy." That was... a lot of work. God, he hoped Holden was ready for that. "Sounds really exciting. Are you ready to have a puppy? It's a lot of work."
"I'm gonna train it and love it always." Gideon wisely informed him as he reached out to Holden for support around the stranger. "It's gonna be my best friend."
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Here was hoping, anyway. "Might be a bit much, but nothing we can't handle, huh?"
Hopefully. "You should stay, Felix. If you want. Remus and Sirius won't at all mind you being here."
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"You can always clean up messes." Gideon wisely told him as he leaned into Holden for a moment and the reached his arms out to get down from the counters.
"Wise words. Thank you, Gideon." Felix offered and then turned to Holden with a smile. "Can I, uh, grab a drink? What do you have?"
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He gestured to Felix. "You can check the fridge. I've got some G&T and beer that's probably closing in on expiring, also got cider and lots of drink options for kids that might be right up your alley. Really likes Capri Sun, Gid does."
And he really liked indulging him. "He's had a rough life so far, I'm kinda spoiling him."
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Holden was the ultimate dad, he thought it was perfect for a kid like that to come to him.
Felix took out his capri sun and took a sip before he paused and frowned. "Wait. Sirius isn't coming on his bike, is he?" Two people and one puppy on a bike? God, no!
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"Look, it's Sirius, so I'm sure he would. Luckily, however, Remus is sensible and Remus is the one in charge of that relationship when it comes down to it, so I'm hoping they'll have borrowed a car."
Who from, that was a different question.
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They made a bit of small talk about Gideon and how things were progressing when suddenly, there was a few honks of a car and headlights shining through the window. Gideon jumped up, excited, and ran to the window. People had parked outside. "Holden! Holden!"
"Oh, they borrowed a car, awesome." He came closer and peered out of the window before he cracked up and turned to Holden. "They borrowed Spike's car, from the looks of it. Remember Spike?" The back windows were all blacked out so Nicki could be hungover in the back and the car made the most unhealthy of noises.
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He opened the door and there was Sirius already with a squirming puppy in his arm. He crouched down pretty much immediately to be level with Gideon, holding the puppy up for him. "Do you want to greet him?"
"Do you want to greet first, Sirius?" Holden rolled his eyes, looking behind Sirius at Remus. "I know he was raised to have manners, so what went wrong?"
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And it was as precious as expected. Gideon held his arms out, an excited puppy ran at him and they were cuddling and playing on the doorstep in seconds. Gideon giggled and looked at Holden. "Look! Look!"
"That's precious." Felix agreed and then held his hand up in greeting to Sirius and Remus. "Hey. I'm his patient. I just stayed to see the puppy."
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How cute. Almost as cute as Holden rushing back from where he'd walked off to, returning with his camera. He started taking pictures of Gideon and the puppy getting to know each other, as excited as Gideon was.
"It's so precious, Felix." He held on to Felix's arm without even thinking about it, leaning against him. "Look, they'll become friends. I always wanted a dog..."
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"It peed in Spike's car, it pooped, it scratched... we're so screwed." Remus shrugged as he came closer to watch the puppy and Gideon bond. "Do you love the puppy already?"
"YES! I wanna name himmmmm ... Friend. Cause he's my friend." Original.
"You could consider Buddy or something?" Felix pitched, trying to make it sound less stilted.
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"That name's brill," Sirius agreed, grinning and wrapping both arms around Remus. "I'm so happy Crowley didn't lend us his car now, can you imagine how dead I'd be?" He imagined, comparatively, Spike would make a lot less of a fuss. His car was kinda shite anyway.
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"Maybe the puppy should see the house. Less likely for it to run into the street." Remus pointed out as he got up and caught the puppy, holding it firmly and looking at Sirius. "Took us half an hour to catch the pup when it got loose from the apartment so I advise you train it up and use the lead."
"Christ, a puppy..." Felix couldn't wrap his head around it. He laughed and shook his head, grinning at Holden. "You're nuts. You know that, right? Utterly nuts." Stupid sexy Irish bastard.
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