gay90s | where the heart is

"It's nice." Too nice for him. It would be a bad idea, he didn't think it would last at all but he supposed he might be allowed to play football in the garden and meet a postman before he went home. He did like Postman Pat, it was the best - secondly only to Fireman Sam. And he lived in a small village too.

"He looks like a business man." He had no real frame of reference but he was an older man and clean so he looked fancy. He wasn't wearing a footie shirt or anything.

"What does he do?"

"He's a therapist. Psychologist." Those were likely a whole bunch of words that Gideon had never heard in his life and, even if, that he definitely couldn't possibly understand. So he tried to explain. "His job is to talk to people and help them feel better. So they aren't as sad or angry any more. It's a pretty fancy job."

That part was true, he supposed. "He also really likes movies and games and cartoons and all that. So he's not all serious. And he really wants a kid, wants a nice boy like you to have a fun life with, but because he's by himself, they tend to give the kids to families instead. I think he'd be perfect for you though."

"I'm not a nice boy." He was a silly boy, a stupid boy, a bad boy and a dirty boy but he was not a good boy or a nice boy. He knew that for a fact. He frowned at the picture, wondering if he was really a good pick or not. He seemed scary. Maybe he was the yelling sort, he was a guy by himself so he was probably a yeller or he'd have someone by now. True love was like that and all.

"I gotta go again." He knew he had to, he didn't have a choice, he looked at Gunn and frowned deeply. "How many times do I have to go?"

"I really, really think it could be the last time, Gid. I mean it." And he knew he'd not be trusted, but what else could he do? Hope that Holden was as good at this as he was hoping he would be, he supposed.

Gunn got up and held a hand out to Gid. "Car is right outside and I did give Holden a warning yesterday, but I'll text him to tell him we're coming by when we're in the car. Do you have all your stuff packed?"

"Yeah, I guess." Gideon got his bag and held it out for Charles to take, as he always did, before he reluctantly stood up. He didn't want to meet more new people, he just wanted to be home. Watch some TV, play outside, draw in his book. He didn't care, he just didn't want to do all of this.

He held Gunn's hand and followed him along to the car, secretly happy that he had stolen a toy from the Smith's youngest. It was his Barbie now - not that he wanted one but even so. "Do you have to do this with lots of kids?"

"More than I'd like. But things are getting better for you, Gideon." Gideon had been a hard sell. Boy from a very rough background, no longer tiny, a bit of a record of bad behaviour and acting out and they thought a bigger family with a firm hand would be good for him.

Gunn had finally managed to get them to agree to let the boy leave the city. And so he got to take him to the countryside now, to the person he felt would be a perfect dad to him. Here was hoping.

He opened the door to the backseat for Gideon and helped him in, then got into the car himself. After sending a text to Holden, he started them on their journey. "Not a lot of traffic right now, so we shouldn't be too long. Try and stay awake, yeah? Tell me if you see anything fun on the road."

"I'm not tired." Gideon promised, even if it was late and he probably should be. He did look out of the window and then look around the car curiously. He wondered what sort of person Gunn was. If he had children, if he was married, if he was a happy person. Were people happy? Or was that just in TV? He liked when people were happy in TV.

"I went to a Sainsburys." Gideon informed Gunn, just wanting him to know what fun he had been up to. After all, this new family didn't like him but they did take him shopping. "They had so much food. I've only been to the Offy."

"Yeah, they got a lot more at a Sainsbury's, don't they? I think the village where I'm taking you has some smaller stores, actually. Probably has a bakery. Real bakery." How quaint was that? He assumed that Gideon couldn't really appreciate that. "You'll have to tell me what else you discover there. Did you get anything nice at Sainsbury's?"

Hey, maybe. Gid did have very low standards.

"I got a chocolate bar. It had a lion on the front. It was cool." Gideon informed Gunn wisely as he looked out of the window, looking into all the gardens of the houses. He wanted to go to a house with a big garden. Then he could be there all day and maybe even hide there allllll night.

He had tried with his last family, he refused to come into the house and it had been a big fight. They dragged him inside in the end - adults were the worst.

"My mom used to get me candy cigarettes. You could pretend to smoke them and it was pretty cool." He missed those a lot.

"Yeah, those are neat. I got chocolate cigarettes some time as a kid, that was a cool day." Gotta admit, cool was cool. And tasty, even though he remembered the chocolate not being the best. Pretending to smoke made it all much more interesting. "You should have a nice bath today, when you're with Holden."

That boy really, really needed a thorough cleaning. "And I'm getting him to set up those check-ups you need. Dentist, doctor, all of that." He was worried. "Don't want you to have that much pain with your teeth any more.

"I don't like baths." He didn't like the idea of having a bath, he had never really had one and showers were awful. His last family tried the first night and gave up, hence the state he was in. Sure, he was difficult to deal with but nothing was worth trying twice for with him. He wasn't an instant angel, he wasn't worth keeping.

"I get big new teeth soon." Or, at least, he heard people did when they were big enough. He had a year before he started school so he hoped he had new teeth by then. Then they would hurt less and he wouldn't have to brush them. Or so he assumed.

"Yeah, you do. And you'll be properly taken care of by then so they won't hurt at all." He could find a good life for Gideon, no matter how difficult it might be. Gunn turned on some music for them to listen to and focused on following the instructions Holden had given him.

Finally, after a while longer, there they were. "That's the place, Gid. We just passed the sign. Do you like it? Looks like Postman Pat's village."

Pretty damn close, anyway.

"Postman Pat is a really happy man. He has a cat and they live in a village. There's lot of apple trees there. I don't see apple trees here." Gideon looked out of the window, clearly having high standards for his Postman Pat lifestyle. He put the knuckle of his thumb into his mouth and started biting it nervously. They were getting close. He didn't wanna. He didn't want to do it all over again.

He wondered if there would be a black and white cat. And maybe a nice postman. Maybe he could just leave with the postman if it got too hard. They could mail him to the North Pole.

Gunn parked the car and looked outside at the house. Damn. That house with the white walls, the blue door and windows, the dark roof and the ivy growing on the side. Cottage living indeed, looked like what every American thought England was like. "There is a apple tree in the garden."

He pointed that out, because winning arguments against a small child was good for the ego sometimes. "Let's go and see, all right?"

He saw the door open and Holden walked outside, clearly eager, a smile on his face, looking a little nervous. He was also wearing a ridiculously cute fox sweater. Or jumper. Whatever English people said.

He liked the blue door a lot. Blue door, dark green roof, apple trees. He studied it curiously and then let Gunn undo his seatbelt. As nice as the place looked, his stomach was doing loops again and he just didn't want to get out of the car. He anxiously looked at Gunn and then opened his door, knowing he had no other option. He'd tried it all before. He'd bargained, he'd asked to come home with Gunn, he asked to be sent to the North Pole but every time, he went to the new home.

He hurried behind Gunn and stuck carefully behind him as they walked forward. He eyed up the house and then the man before looking at the apple trees. It was so green here, he had never seen to much greenery.

There were no cars around, no one was yelling, the houses weren't all attached either...

"Hello, you must be Gideon." Holden greeted Gideon right away, crouching down to be close to eye level. He didn't hold a hand out, he assumed he might be feeling a little shy about that. What a cute boy. What an obviously neglected boy too. "Do you want to come in? I just got some pie from the lady across the street, she's the best."

And he may or may not have asked her very nicely to please bake something when Gunn had told him yesterday that he might bring by a boy today. "It's apple pie."

Which was not invented in America, even if Gunn thought it was.

"Apple pie sounds great. Can I have some?" Gunn was hungry. Always, really.

He knew he would be left alone here soon so instinct took over and he held so tight onto Gunn's pant leg that he would have to come in for pie or Gideon would not come in. He stared at Holden for a long time and then buried his head against Gunn's leg. What if he got in there, Holden realised he hated him and Gunn was gone? Then it was going to be awful all over again.

He seemed nice and he had apple trees. Maybe he was like Postman Pat. Or Fireman Sam. It looked like that sort of place. Like a cool tv show. He just hoped it would be nice here.

"Let's go inside, shall we?" Holden kept a nice smile and turned to head into the house, with Gunn following behind him, holding Gideon's hand again.

"It's all good, promise," he said to Gideon quietly and then they were inside. As cosy as promised from the outside, perhaps even more so. Looked like a hobbit's home or something. A lot of wood, nice furniture, a basket filled with blankets, a fireplace. A kitchen right there too and a nice round dining table that, yes, had a pie on top of it.

Holden was already slicing the pie, putting one piece after the other onto plates until there were three plates. "Welcome home, Gideon. Enjoy the pie."

He gestured for him to sit and sat down himself as well.

"Whoa, you got a nice TV." Well, Gunn noticed the one thing that didn't really fit the aesthetic. "And game consoles? Sweet."

Gideon didn't immediately sit down. He looked at the TV for a few moments, wondering if he was going to be allowed to watch it or they'd be weird like the last place he went to. So many boring, annoying rules there. No TV unless chores were done was so dumb. He looked at the games console and then the fireplace, wondering if he got more presents at Christmas than other people. Santa probably liked the fireplaces more, that's why he didn't get anything. Their apartment never had a chimney.

He looked at the books curiously, then the plants on the windowsill. It looked really different to everywhere he had ever been - it was so small but nice. It smelled like fire and apples.

Coming over to Gunn, he looked at Holden again before he climbed up onto his seat. "Does Santa like coming here?"

"I reckon so," Holden said, nodding his head, "He'll like it a lot more now that you're here. Probably already has someone working on your presents. We'll have to write a letter to Santa so he knows what you want and where you live."

Seemed like a good thing, to engage with what the boy was talking about. "But first, I hear your birthday isn't far off. So maybe there will be some presents for that."

Holden was very, very certain that there would be, if only Gideon would actually want to stay here with him.

Gunn ate the pie, which was delicious, and he let them talk. Seemed best to let them get to know each other.

"I don't think I have a birthday." Gideon said with a small frown and then attempted to eat some of his apple pie. It was hard, he had never learned to master a fork so he mostly used it to break up the pie and slowly eat it with his hands. That was easier for him and it meant less thinking. He always ate with his hands back home. "If I had one, I'd want a postman van."

He knew what he wanted, he'd wanted one since he knew that he could have things. He had asked his mom, all three of his foster families and Gunn. One day, he would get one. Maybe.

"Postman Pat has a van. And a cat but I don't want a cat. They scratch."

"Postman Pat does have a van, doesn't he? He's a smart bloke, would be hard to lug all those parcels around by foot." Made sense. Holden noted the interest in Postman Pat and he was already plotting the birthday party. He was positive he had seen some Postman Pat stuff around various stores before. "We don't have a cat here, but we do have chickens. And two quails. You can meet them tomorrow, if you feel up to it. They give us fresh eggs, which is great."

About the only thing he cooked, usually.

Chickens? He had chickens. Like a farmer. He was really cool, he had so many nice things. That was why he wanted a nice boy. And he wasn't a nice boy, so he didn't think he'd get to stay long but... but maybe a van before he had to go. He squirmed in his seat and looked anxiously around, unsure how someone could be a good enough boy to get a postman van.

Nice people were the hardest, they hurt the most. "I can meet the chickens." Maybe. If they weren't too scary. He had never seen a chicken outside of TV before. "I've met a dog before. My mom's boyfriend had two dogs. They barked a lot." He didn't really like them, they weren't fun. "Never met a chicken."

"Chickens are fun to meet too. I'll take you to them tomorrow and we can feed them some treats. You just have to take a bath first today because they get scared when you don't smell like home." Or, you know, when someone stank the way poor Gideon unfortunately did. However, Holden didn't want to call the boy smelly, he just wanted to give him some proper motivation to get clean today without forcing him. "When you're done eating, I can show you your room. It's upstairs, next to my room. And from your window you can probably even spot the chickens, unless they are all in bed already."

Gunn finished his pie, grinning. This was going well. Holden really was good at this.

He really didn't want to take a bath but if he wanted to meet the chickens, he had to. He supposed he could dip quickly and then get out. He didn't know what to think of the room or what to do with all of this, he just felt a little sick. What if he wet the bed? What if he broke something? What if the chickens hated him and he had to leave? How did he make chickens like him?

He frowned nervously and then looked at Gunn. "You have to see my room too." And if it was too nice, maybe he could tell Gunn that it had be less nice so he didn't ruin it.

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